Water Treatment Calculator

This Calculator is intended to help you quantify and adjust the characteristics of your brewing water.  It uses the six main mineral variables which affect the creation and flavor of finished beer.  You can find these variables for most cities online (public works websites, etc.) and you can find these variables for target water styles of famous brewing cities online as well.  It is important to note that it is almost impossible for a home brewer to exactly recreate the water of Munich, London, or Dublin as you will shortly discover.  Also, it is far more effective to add less than what the numbers say is accurate.  These additions do not work as nature does and have not had the chance to diffuse, blend, and settle.

Please email GudgerandFerguson@gmail.com for a copy of this compatible Excel document.

Directions:

1 - YOUR WATER - If you are using your tap water look online for the characteristics of your city's water and enter these next to "Your Water."  I have entered Louisville, KY's average water characteristics.
     If you are using distilled water, enter 0 for all six minerals.

2 - DESIRED WATER - Research the characteristics for the water you are trying to recreate.  All major brewing cities should have this information online.  Many brewing books have this information as well.  These numbers are not part of any calculation, but act as a reference as you manipulate your calculations.  Enter these numbers next to "Desired Water."

3 - VOLUME - Enter the total final yield you expect from brewing and enter them in as gallons where it says "Volume (Gallons)=."

4 - ADDITIONS - The five pink boxes in the lower right are the amounts of the minerals you intend to add to your water.  The additions are in grams and the calculator adjusts for the Total Volume Yield.  As you change these numbers, you will notice "Total Adjustment" and "Adjusted" change above.  Compare these to the "Desired Water" directly below and you will be able to achieve somewhat accurate recreations of famous brewing waters. 


Additions:

Calcium Sulfate (Gypsum) is available as a powder at homebrew stores.

Calcium Chloride is available in a small grain form at homebrew stores.

Magnesium Sulfate (Epsom Salt) is available at drug stores as it is commonly used as a medical aid.

Sodium Chloride (Table Salt) is easy to find.

Calcium Carbonate (Chalk) is available as a fine powder at homebrew stores.



Enjoy an authentic German lager or British bitter!

Properly Lighting a Cigar

I'm in my mid-20's and it seems that most members of my generation rarely, if ever, take time to enjoy a cigar.  I often bring a stash of cigars to important events just to discover that most of the celebrants are interested in enjoying a smoke, but are relatively inept at lighting and maintaining their cigar.  This generation is losing touch with the ability to stop and feel comfortable doing so.  In a Cigar Aficionado interview a well known race car driver commented that he liked cigars, because he couldn't "outrun" them.  An occasional cigar is just the medicine for our generation.  (the following advice is for anyone new to cigars, not just 20 somethings)


Sulphurless Matches, Matchbook, Cedar Paper, Scissor Cutters, Butane Lighter, Cigar, and Bourbon

Matches -  Most matches have sulphur which was never meant to be inhaled and can destroy the enjoyment of a good cigar.  If you have matches which are sulphurless, then you're good to go.  If you use regular matches, it is best to light cedar paper, then light the cigar with the cedar paper.  I recommend folding the cedar paper over once and using a narrower strip, unless, of course, you want an unruly flame and a ruined cigar wrapper.  Cedar paper comes with some cigars, but can usually be found in ample supply at cigar stores.


Butane Lighters - This is by far my preferred tool for lighting cigars.  Butane does not cause any off-flavors and supports a nearly wind-proof flame.  As it is a focused, intense flame, be careful to avoid pointing the flame into the cigar, accidentally scorching the wrapper, or singeing your hat and/or eyebrows.  If you own a butane lighter, you will need to purchase a butane refill can.  If you have any question as to how to refill the butane ask the guy (or gal) behind the counter.


Cigar Cutters - Make sure any cutter you buy is a double-blade cutter.  Single blade cutters are only useful for smashing your cigar.  I have found it convenient to have several inexpensive scissor cutters as they work rather well and I can keep one in the car, one in the house, and one where my family lives for when I visit.


Cutting            Although it is best to cut your cigar only once, until you're familiar with how a particular brand of cigar is built and draws, it is best to err on the side of caution.  You can cut more if the draw's too tight.  Set the blades on the cap (I aim for half way on most cigars, but that's my preference) and make a decisive, clean cut.

Toasting             I prefer to lightly toast the cigar to ensure it lights more evenly.  Don't overdo this, though, as it can affect the initial flavor.  Toasting is not necessary, but I find it to be effective.



Lighting              While applying your chosen flame to the cigar, perform small, quick, puffs to draw the flame into the cigar.  [Don't Inhale!!]  Make sure to either rotate the cigar or the flame in order to evenly light the cigar.

If you cut it appropriately, it's well-constructed, you draw on it at a moderate pace, and you keep the tip dry, you are ready for the final step...

Enjoy

Don't look down at a cigar while someone takes a picture as you
will look stoned.  Tobacco's enough for me.





The Genesis of Gudger & Ferguson's

Gudger & Ferguson's began with a beer fridge.  We were off on a summer from college and stocked it with beer of moderate quality (there, our biggest secret is out there).  Having tastebuds, though, we quickly grew tired of sub-mediocrity and began raiding our local beer store and stocking what we believed to be superlative beers.  The stocking of the fridge was a ritual to be performed with the most sensitive degree of concern.  The fridge was quickly given the mantle it deserved and we constructed a large box-shaped bar around it.  Shortly thereafter we hosted a party and served our agreed upon beers of all styles to our guests. 

Carrying on this way was fun, but costly, so the installation of a tap was the clear next step.  First we got a keg of Killian's (as we were still early in our beer journey) and enjoyed it along with a couple other friends over the inaugural week of the tap.  We wanted something better.  The Blackstone Brewery, in Nashville, TN produces some great brews and the brewers there were perfectly happy to sanitize and fill our 5-gallon Cornelius kegs for a modest price.  This was a period of great enjoyment and we became recognizable to the gentlemen at Blackstone.

At this time, Ferguson left for a job in D. C. and we each began brewing separately.  Of course, though, the Ampersand (a great man who is neither Gudger nor Ferguson) and I felt the need to travel to D. C. and build a second G&F's bar for Ferguson.  In one day we constructed a sturdy bar with a working tap system on the front porch of Ferguson's D. C. abode.  [sidenote: the Ampersand will be moving to Boston soon and as is proper the construction of G&F's #3 looms near]

Gudger

Gudger is currently in Louisville, KY, brewing bi-weekly, and
dreaming of Asheville, NC.




 

The Ampersand

Due to some good news, The Ampersand will soon be in Boston continuing the life of an academic.

Ferguson

Ferguson is still in D. C. stirring up politics and, when he has time, brewing.

Useful Books for Homebrewers

I have picked five books from my brewing library which are invaluable and easy to find:

1)  Lewis, Ashton.  The Home Brewer's Answer Book.  North Adams, MA:  Storey Publishing, 2007.

     --This book was written by a columnist for Brew Your Own magazine.  Lewis has maintained his Q&A format in this book and organized the questions into ten different chapters including "The Basics of Homebrewing," "Homebrew Troubleshooting," and everything else useful to the homebrewer of any level. 
      --When I first got this book, I read it cover to cover during a series of three minute sessions as each question and answer take up very little time.  Now, I leave this book on the coffee table and pick it up at odd moments of the day.  I usually open it to a random page and read a quick 45-second Q&A which may fill in a gap in my brewing knowledge.  That said, if you have a problem with off-flavors in your lagers, this book has an answer for it.  It is an excellent troubleshooting resource.





2)  Snyder, Stephen.  The Brewmaster's Bible.  New York, NY:  Harper Perennial, 1997.

      --This book is the ultimate brewing reference book.  It begins with the basic process of extract brewing then takes you through every process you could possibly use to get the beer to the consumer.  This book also has approximately 200 pages of recipes from homebrewers and homebrew shops fromaround the country and every reference chart you'll ever need.
      --I use this as a reference book for matters such as carbonation, gravity reading corrections, and brewing-specific measurement conversions.  I also often use the sections which describe the characteristics of particular grains, hops, and strains of yeast.





3)  Mosher, Randy.  Radical Brewing.  Boulder, CO:  Brewers Publications, 2004.
       --Radical Brewing is an impressive beer history and culture book from the standpoint of a knowledgable brewer.  Not only will you find recipes for obscure 300 year-old brews, but you will be exposed to why it is, how it is, who drank it, how they drank it, and how to practically replicate it yourself.
       --This book is very useful for expanding general beer knowledge.  I peruse Radical Brewing when I want some inspiration which will keep my thinking outside-the-box.  Our current tastes in brewing are like the current music on the radio; a microcosm of what will have occurred upon looking back.  This is a fun, interestingly-written overview of the brewer's history of beer.









4)  Daniels, Ray.  Designing Great Beers.  Boulder, CO:  Brewers Publications, 2000.

       --Daniels takes a technical, statistical approach to brewing within stylistic guidelines.  The first part of Designing Great Beers provides a lot of insight into the technical side of the brewing process, including the characteristics of ingredients and particulars which improve brewing.  The second part of the book goes through each of the styles of beer and describes how to approach replicating them as authentically as possible.  He addresses the ingredients used in recipes by referencing the occurrence of particular ingredients by participants of the National Homebrewing Competitions of 1993 and 1994.  At the end of each chapter there is a convenient gray box which sums up the major points of each chapter, from hop usage to the brewing of authentic german style ales.
       --I love the approach of showing what successful brewers put into their brews.  Daniels leaves the decision making up to you while giving you a great idea of what works.  When brewing a certain style I usually dissect the gray box at the end of the style's chapter to make sure I'm not forgetting anything.  If I really want to make something authentically I read the whole chapter as part of my research.  The first part of this book which breaks down the brewing process and its ingredients to a technical level is extremely useful if you're prepared to wrap your head around it.





5)  Papazian, Charlie.  The Complete Joy of Homebrewing.  New York:  Harper, 2003.

         --Papazian is the father of American homebrewing.  Done.  His line "Relax, don't worry, have a homebrew!"  is well known, because everyone has this book.  The Complete Joy of Homebrewing is written so that it sounds like Charlie is talking to you and coaching you toward the satisfaction of enjoying your homebrew.  This book includes everything you need to get started and to, later, improve your processes and goals.  It is very practical and easy to use, as well.  He has a supplemental publication called The Homebrewer's Companion.
          --I used this book far more when I was first brewing than I do now.  I occasionally reference some of the tables or recipes, but this book is more for homebrewers who are really getting started.  If you've recently started brewing or if you haven't read it yet, you must have it.



These books are all staples in any homebrewer's library.  As always, if you have a book which must be mentioned, post it up.  Enjoy!

Pub Game: Pub Skittles (AKA Table Skittles)

Skittles is a game which fills the gap between its ancient Egyptian predecessor and today's modern bowling.  It reached a peak in Britain as the 1800's creeped into the 1900's and has since become increasingly scarce.  The original version was played in an alley with players throwing "the cheese" (it was originally a hard wheel of cheese, but is now commonly a heavy wooden disc) at nine pins in a diamond formation.  Evntually, pub, or table, skittles was developed by pub owners to bring players back into the pubs where they would, undoubtably, purchase more pints of beer.

A few years ago, I found a table skittles set in an antique shop and purchased it.  Although it has obvious minor repairs and upgrades, there is a permanent tag identifying it as a London built set from 1908.  It was difficult to figure out exactly how it was played, but the information is out there.  One valuable resource is the book: "Played at the Pub:  The pub games of Britain," by Arthur Taylor, which can be purchased online and ordered via Royal Air Mail.  After referencing this book, multiple online resources, and other points of information, I have come up with a set of rules that I use to play:

      Absolute Rules
-The Cheese shall be thrown three times

      Common Rules

-The player must stand facing the table with the pole on the left (the picture to the right is the perspective of the thrower)
-The Kingpin (with the red dot) must be knocked down to score
-The Cheese must travel clockwise around the pole and only once through the skittles
-Scoring is kept with pins in a cribbage style board (see picture below)
-The cheese must be released prior to the hand reaching the plane which extends from the side of the board where the post is located

        House Rules

-The player who is about to throw is responsible for setting up the pins
-If anyone is in the flight path of the cheese, they may not complain about being intentionally or accidentally struck so long as the thrower does not harm or abuse the table set
-A pint must be in the non-throwing hand of the thrower
-If all skittles are knocked down, the thrower scores a ten.  The skittles are then set back up and they must once again knock over the kingpin in order to add to their score.  The maximum impossible score is 30.


There are other variations of this game, the most common of which seems to be the version in which a top is spun by wrapping the top with a string and pulling on the string.  The top then moves over the surface of a table knocking down pins of different values.  In my opinion, the version of the game described above allows for more skill to be involved and requires some practice. 

When it comes to pub games, house rules rule.  If you know about skittles or other pub games, please post!

Brewing Calculator

There are other fine brewing calculators on the internet, but this brew calculator is different.  I tried using other calculators, but they weren't exactly what I was looking for.  My brew calculator uses the same calculations and returns the same numbers as other proficient applications, and this one allows for more variation in the characteristics of ingredients and the ability to change all the variables in real time without refreshing. 

If you are new to brewing, I will be adding a How-To Guide in the next couple days.  In the meantime, the caluclator has an Explanation of Terms section and a table of ingredient characteristics to help you work through it.

The calculator is in Microsoft Excel format set for compatibility and I'd be happy to email you either a locked or unlocked version.  Email me at gudgerandferguson@gmail.com.  Below are snapshots of the document.

This document is still in its earliest stages and will be evolving as I continue to explore brewing and you respond with posts as to what you'd like to see or do differently.

Allowed to be Drunk on the Premises

Legislation and alcohol will forever maintain an
interesting relationship.  This song from over a
century and a half ago is a witty example of one
such compromise:



Allowed to be Drunk on the Premises              
                  By John Labern
                  circa 1855

Of all the strange bills that they've pass'd
    To make people act with propriety,
They've manag'd to make one at last,
    That is causing some fun in society.
For in every street you go through,
    Lane, alley, or any such crevices,
Each beer-shop writes up full in view,
    "Allowed to be drunk on the premises."

The people they all must agree,
    Tho' so much has been talk'd of concerning it,
A better law never could be,
    For in fact they're now daily confirming it.
What taste can that man have, oh dear!
    Who this Act say a wish to condemn is his,
He can't know what wirtue's in beer;
     If he did not get drunk on the premises.


What a good set of trumps they must be,
    In the house of all the slim and the crummy ones,
At the same time I'll own and agree,
    That there's some of them reg'lar rummy ones,
But I means all those radical chaps,
    Wot gloriously made it their businesses,
To wote for them beer-drinking acts,
    Allowed to get drunk on the premises.


Talk about legislation and that,
    Why, I'm almost asham'd to be naming it,
They really can't know what they're at
    So I'll in a few words be explaining it.
Five shillings if groggy you're found
    To fine you they say it their business is,
Altho' by the Act you're bound
    To stay and get drunk on the premises.


Some M.P.'s I daresay tried hard,
    Against others such a bill carrying,
From us they've all comfort debarred
    But one, that's the pleasure of marrying.
But I'm sure they've no cause to talk,
    For they all on the sly keep their mistresses,
They sits with 'em drawing their cork,
    And I warrants gets drunk on the premises.


For landlords it's all werry well,
    We needn't do as they tell us now;
That temman wot keeps the Blue Bell
    Not half enough drink will he sell us now.
I told him, say I, we're well back'd
    And your conduct, sir, very remiss is,
For we're by this Parliament Act,
    Allowed to get drunk on the premises.

A word or two more I must say,
    Before I my song can be finishing,
To all those who woted that day,
    Our cares and sorrows diminishing.
Towards something round I'll be proud,
    To be part for I think it my business is,
To drink all their healths wot allowed
    Us all to be drunk on the premises.


--Marchant, W.T.  "In Praise of Ale," 1888

Willy Wonka's in on it

Blue Moon, along with many other popular brews are actually brewed by the "Big Breweries."  They have seen craft brew sales rising and taking a smaller, but increasing segment of the market away from craft brewers.  The Big Brewery response has been to market brews which appear to have a local flair and do not include the parent brewery anywhere on the packaging.  One Big Brewer has recently released a beer  blatantly mimicking Flying Dog's packaging art done by Gonzo (Hunter S. Thompson).   If you're at a national chain restaurant or bar and it's not Sierra Nevada, Samuel Adams, or New Belgium, it's probably just a knock-off.

That said, if you enjoy the knock-off then, please, be happy.  I believe in "truth in taste."  Just know the game. 

This article goes in depth about who is actually brewing which beers.  Most of the recognizable beers are the property of the Big Breweries.

http://www.drinkamerican.us/faq/59-who-owns-what-beers.html